Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Being present with your partner is challenging.

Take Jeremy*, for example. He said, “I want to be there for my partner, but something is holding me back.”

Although Jeremy longs to be present with his partner, he struggles to be honest and open.

He shares that he buries uncomfortable feelings, and when his partner brings this up, he automatically withdraws and disengages without thinking. This response leaves his partner feeling abandoned and alone, and he feels shame and frustration.

His behavior makes him wonder, “Why do I keep moving away when she only wants to be close to me?”

Early childhood may provide the answer.

We become who we are and how we operate in relationships through our experiences with our caregivers. These interactions shape our understanding of the world and our position within it.

Depending on our caregivers’ emotional availability or lack of availability in our childhood, we develop a sense of safety and security in our emotional landscape or learn to adapt and survive by creating coping mechanisms to create a sense of safety.

These formative experiences in childhood directly impact how we understand and approach emotions throughout our lives.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic approach that helps people explore their early childhood experiences, namely with primary caregivers, and how those experiences impact their current relationships.

Here is how EFT helped Jeremy.

Using EFT, I explored Jeremy’s internal emotional landscape. He discovered that the messages he internalized as a child were that “uncomfortable” feelings were not safe and thus needed to be avoided and buried.

As an adult, Jeremy carried this unconscious message into romantic relationships, leading to disconnection and a lack of intimacy and fulfillment. When Jeremy became uncomfortable, he naturally turned to the coping mechanisms he had adopted in childhood, withdrew, went within himself, and shut down.

In our work, Jeremy learned to identify exiled parts of himself and core emotions, keeping him from being the attuned and present partner he longed to be. He learned new patterns, skills, and behaviors that lead to deep connection, intimacy, and the ability to be vulnerable.

Learn to make meaningful connections.

Reach out to me today for your free consultation. EFT worked for Jeremy, and it could work for you.

Learn to eliminate the disconnection and establish lasting and meaningful bonds with the ones you love. It’s time for a new beginning! Contact me for more information on how I can help.